Winter 2025 : Navigating & Connecting Across our Differences
from the late 70’s. Not sure why I am winking at the camera. I miss my loved ones who are not living with us anymore, my Dad Alberto (front right, blue shirt) and my Cuban grandparents Teresa and Alberto (on the left, blue plaid and black sweater)
I’ve had plenty of practice connecting across differences with this family!
As we move into the season of gatherings — from gathering tables to office parties, community events, and family reunions — it’s natural to feel both joy and tension. These next few months often bring us together in ways that highlight our shared love and our deepest differences. In today’s rapidly changing and sometimes divisive world, our values, beliefs, and lived experiences can clash unexpectedly.
It’s easy to slip into judgment, defensiveness, or quiet withdrawal when conversations get charged. But this season, what if we prepared our hearts a little differently? What if we entered these spaces not to convince or control, but to connect — to practice acceptance, love, and clear boundaries that allow for more honest and grounded relationships?
Here are three practices to help you navigate and connect across differences with grace and authenticity:
1. Love the Person Deep Down Inside
When tensions rise, remind yourself: the person in front of you is more than their opinions. Beneath every strong stance or sharp word is a story, a set of fears and hopes, and a desire to belong. Love doesn’t mean agreeing with everything — it means seeing the human being beneath the surface. Try silently affirming, “This person is doing their best with what they know right now.” It softens the edges and opens the heart.
2. Validate and Accept with Curiosity and Empathy
True connection begins when we stop trying to change one another’s minds. Instead, approach differences with curiosity — “Help me understand how you see it” can go a long way. When we validate another’s perspective, we’re not saying they’re right; we’re saying their experience matters. This shift from persuasion to understanding expands both of our perspectives and honors our shared humanity.
3. Hold Loving Boundaries
Boundaries are not walls — they’re bridges of clarity. They help you know your limits and take responsibility for your own well-being. Remember: your boundaries are for you, not for others to manage. Communicate them with compassion, and if someone crosses them, take gentle action rather than waiting until you’ve reached your breaking point. You can love deeply and stand firmly in your truth.
Connect, Don’t Reject
This winter, let’s practice the art of staying present with one another — especially when it’s hard. Connection doesn’t require agreement; it requires presence, humility, and the courage to keep our hearts open. In doing so, we rediscover the common ground that lives beneath all our differences — the shared longing to be seen, heard, and loved.
Responses you can adapt that will protect your boundaries:
“I hear you, and I still need to stick with what I said.”
Affirms the other person while holding your line.
“That doesn’t work for me, but here’s what I can do.”
Redirects the conversation toward a healthier alternative.
“I’m not available for that, and I want to be upfront so there’s no misunderstanding.”
Prevents negotiation or guilt from creeping in.
“I understand this might be disappointing, but my limit is firm.”
Normalizes their reaction without absorbing responsibility for their feelings.
“This boundary supports my well-being, and I’m going to honor it.
Centers your own agency and keeps the focus on your needs—not their pushback.
“I can see why you feel that way, and I have a different perspective.”
Simple, calm, and honors both truths.
“That’s a valid way to look at it. For me, I’m landing somewhere else.
Affirms them without yielding your position.
“I appreciate you sharing your view. My experience leads me to a different conclusion.
Centers your lived experience as your guide.
“I get where you’re coming from, and I’m choosing to stay with my own perspective on this.”
Clear boundary, no judgment.
“I respect your opinion. Mine just happens to be different, and I’m comfortable with that.”
Keeps things grounded, non-defensive, and adult-to-adult.
“I hear that this is important to you. I still see it differently.”
You’re acknowledging their investment, not the opinion.
“I’m not aligned with that perspective, and I’m okay standing apart on this.”
Clear, steady, and no fake agreement.
“We don’t share the same view here, and that’s alright. I’m firm in where I stand.”
Creates space for difference without implying agreement.
“I understand that you feel strongly. My position is different, and I’m going to stick with it.”
You’re recognizing emotion, not endorsing the logic.
“This is one of those moments where our values or experiences don’t line up. I need to stand in my own.”
Honest, values-based, and not dismissive.
