My Love–Hate Relationship

My Love–Hate Relationship With Deadlines

A reflection inspired by Rachel Syme’s “Clock’s Ticking,” The New Yorker, 2021

I have a complicated relationship with deadlines. I want them and avoid them. I depend on them and resist them. They shape my time—and sometimes trigger a rush of panic or anxiety.

Reading Rachel Syme’s “Clock’s Ticking” felt like reading a mirror, especially the lines I underlined because they felt uncomfortably true.

It’s not always this fun

to race towards a deadline.

How Deadlines Limit and Expand Me

One line I marked:

“In shrinking our responsibilities we shrink our potential.”

I know how easy it is to choose what feels manageable instead of what feels meaningful. Sometimes I keep my world small not because I can’t do more—but because doing more requires risk.

Deadlines do two things at once:

• They limit what’s possible.

• They invite me to stretch.

Sometimes I use deadlines as protection.
Sometimes I use them as a dare.

The Last-Minute Version of Me

Another line I underlined:

“We often summon the will to do our best work at the eleventh hour.”

I know this version of myself well—the late-night, high-adrenaline version who suddenly gets clear when time is almost gone.

Sometimes the last minute brings out my best thinking.
Sometimes it just brings anxiety and exhaustion.

Deadlines as a Social Agreement

This line changed how I think about deadlines:

“Deadlines aren’t just tools for individual achievement—they’re levers of collective accountability.”

When I’m alone, deadlines are flexible.
When I’m with others, they matter more.

A group deadline isn’t just about time—it’s about trust. It says:

• I will do what I said I would.

• My work affects yours.

• We’re building something together.

Creating Deadlines Together

When a group sets a deadline together, it stops feeling like pressure and starts feeling like agreement.

It becomes:

• A shared rhythm.

• A way to stay aligned.

• A promise to move forward together.

Group deadlines hold momentum, care, and respect.

Where I Land

I still love and hate deadlines.

I love how they:

• Create focus.

• Push me forward.

• Help groups move.

I struggle with how they:

• Trigger anxiety.

• Invite last-minute stress.

• Can feel like a measure of worth.

What I’m learning:
Deadlines aren’t the problem—unconscious deadlines are.

When I choose them carefully and create them with others, they become less about pressure and more about partnership.